Month: July 2011

Not Limiting One’s Thinking – Thanks Bryn

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“Successful people do things that Unsuccessful people won’t” said in a talk by Bryn Drescher  (“Redefining Success with You in Mind” with Bryn Drescher – )

Despite the fact that I grew up in a typical Black family, which means that it was conservative in many ways, one of the things that my parents did their best to do is to drill having an open mind about things and to try to look at things differently to see how they could be better. But still I became like many in the Black Community to be conservative about different things. For a long time I had a problem with the roles of the sexes, doing things in a new way, and in other things. But I find myself to be more of a Moderate now in my ways. In some ways I am still very conservative, and in others I am very liberal.

A few years ago, for some strange reason I started going to different live video sites on the Internet. I got hooked into watching some people like Lorielle New, Black Nerd, Nia Lyte, and a few others. What was really nice is that I got to not only chat with them live, but I got to chat with people from all over the world. even though Black Nerd had stopped doing his show, I watched his YouTube Channel and he does a series called “Awkward Talks With Girls”, which I find fun to watch, as I am very awkward when it comes to talking with ladies myself. In one of the episodes he talked with two women, Bryn Drescher and Donna Ruko. The two of them were going to be on an Internet reality show and part of what they were doing was plugging it.  I will admit that I decided to watch this reality show because of them, well mainly one of them, as I had a crush on Donna Ruko.

What was nice about the series was that some of it was live and we could chat with them as they traveled from one place to another. The main focus of the show was to help sells of the car that the teams involved were driving. Each car was equipped with a web camera that would be broadcasting live as the teams drove along, and the fans could interact with the team that they were rotting for. Even though I had a crush on Donna, I found myself really liking Bryn more and more, as she would get me thinking about different things and there was just something about her that I really liked, which is something that I still can’t figure out as to why. I found stuff about her on the Internet, and discovered her YouTube Channel where she had a few videos which I found to be very interesting. even though the show was over, I have kept up with her through a few things that she is involved in. No I am not stalking her, but I have found her to be someone who I like having in my life online as she makes me think. If you look a few blogs back, you can see a talk that she did which I found really interesting and has made me rethink certain words.

In her talk the subject matter was mainly about Success and thinking about the word in new ways. As she talked it made me think about different words and statements that we use and how to really look a them differently. You know like how one answers when one is asked what they do for a living? Most people would mention their job, but what about answering it with something like,” I breath, eat, get exercise…” and other things. Now I already had been doing that in a way when people would ask me what sign I was born under, where I would answer that I was born under the sign of the cross.

But really think about it, how often do we hear a statement, get asked a question or hear a word where we think of the most common usage of the word and limit ourselves to that in how we would answer or take what was meant?  Now I had been thinking somewhat of different ways words are used and mean because I enjoy puns, but for most things I stuck with how must people would think of the word and its meaning.

But we do that not only with the words that we hear, we also do that in our actions and the things that we do. We limit ourselves in many ways because we are not willing to really open ourselves to new ways of thinking and experiences. We limit ourselves to our box and are unwilling to look outside of the box. Imagine all of the things that we are missing out on in life because we refuse to look outside of the box. All of the new experiences that we could be having if we moved away from our comfort zone. Yes having a comfort zone if great, but if one stays within it, one cannot really grow.

Recently I got into a conversation with someone who plays music at my church from time to time, and he has basically limited himself to just playing music. Now the music at the church is all in midi format on a computer that we use, and the vestry voted a number of years ago that using the computer is the way that the congregation will be doing music for the future during services, and that it no longer wanted to use the organ or piano, which was fine with me, but I actually enjoy live music as much from time to time. I would really like for the Spanish to try to bring in Spanish musicians once a month to play, but so far they haven’t. I’m getting off subject.

As I look at such people as him and others in the congregation, and elsewhere, I am now seeing more clearly how they and myself are limiting ourselves in life by not wanting to get out of our comfort zone. We do our best to limit our thinking in so many ways that we are preventing ourselves from growing into a world that could be better for all people. Think about it. What skills and talents do we each have that we have never tapped because we are too scared to step out of our comfort zone? Could someone know the cure for all cancers but because they are unwilling to try anything in the sciences the cures are not available to us? Could someone have a real way of bringing peace on this planet because they are too scared to speak before others?

What are some of the things that are stopping us from thinking and looking upon the world differently? I think that it is because of the world itself. We are told by our family, friends, enemies and more why we can’t do something, and what our limits are, and we stay within those limits in many ways. Think about it. For a long time the Blacks in this country were under the belief that we would never have a President who is Black, so we never really believed in really supporting a Black to win the election. Even though President Obama had great support within the Black Community, but that support really didn’t come until he had won several primaries and then suddenly we realized that is was a possibility.  Until that time, his strongest support came from other ethnic communities, and later the Black community jumped on board. We had to stop limiting our thinking regarding a Black becoming President of the United States even though we had seen other areas elect a Black as its President. We are still having a hard time when it comes to electing a female or really envisioning a woman in that position (hopefully that will happen after President Obama is re-elected for a second term,) even though other countries have already not only elected a woman into the highest office in their country, but many of them have served and are no longer in office.

One of my biggest problems with the Conservative movement we have here is the fact that they are very scared to look at things differently. To me it is very clear that the reason Michelle Bachman is doing so well is that the Conservatives want for us to believe that they are of new thinking, but I am sure that if she were to win she would be nothing more than just a puppet.

Let me get back to what I wanted this blog post to be about.

We really need to start rethinking about the words and other things we say and hear. We need to open our minds to new ways and to step outside of our comfort zone. I know someone who is so stuck in his comfort zone that he really doesn’t see the hurt and damage that he is causing. He has a hard time of really letting his childhood hurts go that he has really huge monsters that if he were to deal with them would cause him to grow hugely as a person and do the great work that is inside of him wanting to get out. He has driven adults and youth away from him that who could be making a difference. but that is also true of many of us, as we each have our own monsters that we need to deal with.

Yes we all feel safe within our comfort zone, but we also need to stop and think about where we have changed when we have stepped out of our comfort zone to find success. We all pump up our chest with each and every success we have when we step out of the zone and things work out great, but we also need to pump out our chest when we step our of our comfort zone and fail, as we were at least willing to try something new, and in that trying we learned new things. We may not feel that we have had any success, but the truth is that we did, in that we took that step out of the comfort zone.

Even though my reasoning for watching that reality show was because of a crush on one person, I was willing to open my eyes and ears to another who has made a difference in my life in more of a way than the other has. No I am not crushing on either one now, but I have learned from each one and am a better person for it now. I would have never thought about taking a seminar on something like Success or many other things dealing with life, but because of  Bryn I am looking forward to finding and going to one at some point. Now I may not get as much out of  it as I did with hearing and watching the one that Bryn did, but each and every one of them will be a success for me if I get even a single thing out of it. I am not limiting myself in my thinking as much now as I did not to long ago, but I am willing to expand my comfort zone more and more.

Bryn, if you are reading this, just know that you have made a difference in someone’s life in an hour’s talk that you may not of thought was as much of a success you would have wanted. Hopefully I can take the things that you said and lead my life so that I pass forward onto others new ways of thinking of not only complex things, but of simply things like a word. I appreciate that and Thank You for that. I can hope and pray that all of your dreams and desires are fulfilled in your life, as you are someone so deserving.

“Stop measuring yourself off of someone else’s paper” ~Bryn Drescher