Why do you believe?

 I still don't get it. I'm talking about people wanting me to become ordained as a Deacon or a Priest. In case you are really wondering, if God were to say to me I had no choice but to be one or the other, I would become a Deacon.

But still, very few people will say what they see in me to even bring it up. I was at the Ordinations in this diocese at the beginning of last month. Before the ordination service, the diocese held an event relating to Area Ministry. During lunch, I was sitting at a table talking with a dear friend, someone that I really think should be ordained. After lunch, I had gotten together with the other members of the Commission On Ministry as we lined up to head in for the ordinations. One of the people said, “I was at a table, and someone asked me who that priest was. I looked around and said that their were a number of them around, which one was she was talking about. She said the one sitting over there, and I looked around and asked again which one she was talking about. She pointed and said the one that is sitting at the table talking with the woman. I then realized that she was talking about you.”

OK, something is going on, but nobody will explain to me what it is that they see. I was at church one day, and one of the members said something to me and that I should become ordained. My pastor overheard the conversation, and got a huge smile on his face.When we had a conversation about 10 days later, after telling him what I have been experienced, I asked him what he saw in me. He talked about all of the other people, but when I brought it back to what he saw, he again avoided the question.

But there have been a couple of people who have answered the question whom I really respect for it, several of them are Deacons. But I really need to hear from others as to what they see in me.

Now to something else. I forgot to mention that the guppies that I had written about have all died. The final one to go was one of the orange ones. I realized that it was going to happen about a week earlier, as he would only lay on the bottom of the tank, and the only time he would swim around was when food was put into the tank.

I also ended up losing all of the fish in that tank a few months later, this included the fish that I had the longest, which was a catfish. I am at fault on this, as I had added to much salt into the water the night before when I went to top off the tank with water. When I arose the next day, I walked into the living room and looked into the tank. The catfish was laying on one of the plants like it would do at times, but I knew something was wrong. I grabbed a net and stuck it into the tank, and when I got close to it and it didn't dart off, I knew that it was dead. It was then that I realized that all of the other fish were dead also. I haven't gotten any new fish to replace them, as I am trying to figure out what I want to get, and even if I want to continue to have fish. I have been thinking about just cleaning out the water in the tank and getting a Beta. I'll figure it out one of these days.

Anyway, things are still the same at the congregation that I am in. My pastor has still not apologized to me as directed by the vestry. I am finding it funny, as I have let him know that I am still awaiting the apology, and he has given excuses. He has even given sermons relating to rewards and other stuff, but still he can't do something so simple as to say, “Clinton, I am sorry. I screwed up and what I did was wrong. I apologize.” I know that it is never going to happen, and I wonder how he will answer to the Holy Trinity if he should be asked about it.

I hope to get back to writing here more often. I have been busy with other things, and I have also gone back to writing poetry from time to time. I haven't been keepin up with much of what has been happening in the Anglican Communion, as I feel that I should be spending my time doing other things. I will do my best to write something in the next few weeks.

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